What domestic abuse is and who it affects

Support for people suffering domestic abuse is available.

All relationships are different. There is not such a thing as a 'normal' relationship, but there are healthy and unhealthy behaviours in relationships.

In a healthy relationship, both people treat each other with respect. This means you feel safe and free to be yourself. You should not feel scared, intimidated or controlled by anyone.

Gov.uk: domestic abuse - how to get help defines domestic abuse as 'any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to psychological, physical, sexual, financial, emotional.'

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, of any gender, age, culture, social class, religion, lifestyle or relationship type. It can involve other family members, including children.

It can also take different forms, such as:

• being financially or physically controlled, such as being stopped from seeing someone or going somewhere
• receiving constant criticism and/or being watched or followed
• being forced to do things you do not want to do, or being hurt
• being afraid of someone you live with

Stalking

Stalking is a seriously distressing and potentially life-threatening crime. It is a pattern of repeated behaviour that includes the stalker giving unwanted attention, contact, harassment and intimidation to a specific person. It can be committed in person, such as by following the victim, or remotely, such as online. 

The person being stalked may only realise they are if you see a pattern, such as:

• constant contact, such as phone calls, text messages, social media messages such as on Facebook or X
• unexpected messages and presents, such as notes left on your car or flowers left at your home
• an awareness that you are being followed
• being continually stared at by another person

If you are a victim of stalking, you are likely to feel distress, loss of control, and fear. You may feel forced into changing your routines and behaviours, and believe you may be harmed.